Regrets
by ngjess
Summary: Jessica Day can't handle living in the same apartment as her ex boyfriend Nick Miller, so she moves in with Cece into the apartment across the hall. Will Jess ever be able to get over Nick? Will she and the new girl who moves into her old room become fast friends or fast enemies?
1. Chapter 1

Jess finished packing up the last of the boxes in what was to become her old room. She felt relief knowing that she accomplished something. The last few weeks had been really hard, especially after the cruise that she and the loft mates all took together.

The cruise wasn't something that Nick and Jess had remembered about until last minute and thank the Lord they were able to downgrade to a smaller room that they could all share. She didn't know how she would have been able to handle those few days with just Nick. But even with everyone else there, things had been difficult. Nick wanted to milk the cruise to get his money's worth, including still partaking in the romance package they had pre-purchased, and was also non-refundable.

It had been easy to forget that things had changed between them. Things with Nick were just so easy. And even though they told everyone who would listen about them being exes, Jess still felt that longing in her chest every time she looked over at Nick.

She had even almost let him kiss her.

Part of her wishes she would have let him, but her mind always won out, reminding her of all the reasons her and Nick weren't together. She especially remembered how crazy Nick acted during their three day entrapment in their room on the cruise. But then again everyone was acting a lot crazier than normal. They had all brought a new meaning to the phrase "cabin fever."

She taped the last box shut as Schmidt walked in the door.

"You all set? All the guys are ready for you to use us at your disposal." He grinned. Everyone had been extra nice to her lately, which is probably why they didn't fight against her leaving the loft. They knew things had still been hard for her and Nick and despite what they said, the loft dynamic had changed.

"Yeah. This is the last box."

It's not like Jess was moving far. She was literally moving across the hall into 4C. Schmidt had a vacancy when the previous tenants got a little freaked out by Remy the landlord. Schmidt was worried about filling the place so soon when Jess approached him with the idea of moving in. Cece was needing a new place as well, since her model roommates were moving to New York for a year, so the decision to move in together was a no brainer.

Jess walked out of the room. The guys had told Jess that if she boxed up all her stuff, they would take care of moving it over to the new apartment; she could just sit back and drink a glass of Rosé. Though she would feel awkward letting them do all the work, after doing the packing, she was exhausted and couldn't wait to sit down.

As promised there was a glass and a bottle of pink wine sitting on the coffee table and Jess's favorite movie, Dirty Dancing, strategically placed right next to it. Though Jess was done with her overly emotional, multiple rewatch of the film, she couldn't help but smile that the guys had thought of that extra touch. She couldn't believe she lucked out in having such amazing roommates and friends. She put the DVD into the player and started to watch the epic and familiar romance between Baby and Johnny.

As the movie progressed, Jess couldn't help but watch the guys out of the corner of her eye. They were careful to be quiet and not disturb Jess's movie, but she could of sworn she heard each of them humming along to the some of the movie's iconic tunes as they came in and out of the apartment.

The guys finished moving all of Jess's things into the new apartment about halfway through the movie, proving the phrase that many hands make light work, but they didn't return back to the apartment until well after the credits had finished and Jess was starting to worry about them. She sat her second glass of almost empty wine on the table and wandered over to her new home.

"Boys?" she called, hoping they weren't hiding behind some door trying to scare her. They knew how much she hated that. She could hear some snickering in the direction of her new bedroom. The door was shut but she knew they were inside.

She knocked on the door, feeling silly because it was her room.

"Just a minute!" She heard a familiar voice call. Nick. She didn't know Nick had already gotten off work. She had picked today to move so as to not put Nick out any by making him do anything that would seem "boyfriendly," but she had no problem having the other roommates help her out.

She waited a few more minutes and was about to shout something about how she hoped they weren't breaking anything when Winston opened the door.

"Surprise!" They all shouted. They had unpacked all her boxes for her, putting everything, to her surprise, in it's exact place.

"Wow guys!" Her jaw felt like it had hit the floor, "This is amazing! I thought I was going to have to stay up extra late tonight to get this all done!" She started to cry, the alcohol making her extra emotional. "You guys are the best! How did you know where everything was supposed to go?"

Everyone pointed to Nick, who was looking at the floor. He sighed and confessed, "I did it. I kind of took a picture of where all your stuff went in your old room incase the government came in and placed a hidden camera and I could find out what didn't belong." Jess could see his cheeks burning red. He was definitely crazy with his weird conspiracy theories, but this one ended up coming in handy.

"Thanks Nick," she said sincerely. "Thanks to all you guys. I may only be moving across the hall but I'm really going to miss you!" She pulled them into big group hug, which she noted Nick only half heartedly joined. She rubbed the tears from her eyes, willing them away. "I guess you're glad you get to have your own room again Schmidt?" Jess tried to sound cheery.

"Actually," he replied, "Nick and I decided to keep sharing a room." Jess could have sworn she heard Nick mutter something about Schmidt deciding that and not him, but she ignored it. "We're going to rent out your old room. Actually our first roommate interviewee should be here any moment, so we must get going."

Schmidt grabbed Jessica's head and kissed her softly on her scalp. Winston and Coach gave her big bear hugs. Nick just stood there awkwardly. They went in for a hug but it felt too weird, so they gave each other a high five instead.

"Well, see ya around partner," Jess said in her best cowboy impersonation.

"Yeah, see ya around sheriff." Nick replied, mimicking her accent, before walking out of the room.

Jess looked around. Nick really had put everything in it's sat on the bed and absentmindedly traced the flowers on her quilt with her fingers. Her finger found the small hole that Nick had made when they were playing sky knife in bed. How stupid they had been to think that was a good idea. She felt that familiar sting that she got when she remembered their time together. That feeling of sadness caused her to remember that she had left Dirty Dancing in the DVD player, and it was probably replaying the menu over and over by now. She didn't want the guys' new roommate to think they were the ones watching it. She knew it was important for them to make a good first impression too.

She walked across the hall and hesitated in front of the door. Should she knock? She didn't know what the protocol was for someone who just moved out. Then she remembered that when Schmidt moved out, he always just walked in, and while she thought it was annoying, she understood why he did it; 4D would always feel like home to her.

She opened the door, "Sorry guys, I left my movie here." She stopped as she noticed the beautiful redhead sitting in the armchair. Her hair was cropped short in a cute pixie cut and her eyes were a piercing green; she was stunning.

"Hey Jess," strangely Nick was the first one to address her, "Meet our new roommate."

"I'm in?" the girl asked, revealing her british accent.

"I guess you are," Winston replied with an inquisitive look at Nick. "Welcome to the loft Natalie."

"Oh I'm so relieved!" The new girl started asking a million questions about the area, the apartment, when she could move in, things that would normally be asked before someone was told they got the room.

But Jess drowned all of it out because the only thing she could see was Nick, and the all too familiar way he was looking at Natalie.


	2. Chapter 2

"I am so sorry," Natalie got up from the chair. "I didn't mean to be so rude!" She put out her hand for Jess to shake. "My name is Natalie. Are you one of their girlfriends?"

_I used to be_, Jess wanted to say, but she stopped herself, instead saying, "No, I actually just moved out. I moved across the hall to live with my best friend Cece." She glanced at Nick to see his reaction, but it was hard to read, so she shook Natalie's hand, "My name's Jess by the way. Jessica Day. I'm a school teacher. Well, actually I'm a vice principal now." Jess was nervous. She always got nervous around pretty girls, especially ones that her ex boyfriends seemed to be interested in.

"That is so lovely! I'm actually a professor up at the university. Well, I am going to be. This is going to be my first year and I am so nervous!" She giggled, even her laugh was musical, and Jess couldn't help but think that if she were into girls, this was the type of girl she would be attracted to

"Oh, that's cool." Jess rocked on her heels. "Well if you ever need any tips, you know where to find me!" Jess backed away slowly, embarrassed. She didn't know why she wanted to make such a good impression, especially since this girl was now the _new _new girl in the loft.

"It was so nice to meet you Jessica!" Natalie waved at her before turning back to the boys. Jess took a quick glance at them before leaving. Nick was still looking love struck, but she couldn't read the other guys faces. She figured they were probably just hiding their emotions as a courtesy to Jess. Besides, as much as they'd deny it, they were sad to see Jess go.

"See ya, um, Natalie" Jess waved back and hurried out the door.

Jess was more bothered than she should have been with the way Nick looked at Natalie. She couldn't quite place why. Of course she knew that a major reason was because she still loved Nick, but there was something else about it that just didn't seem right.

Jess decided that now was a good time to make dinner; she needed a good distraction. She walked up to the fridge, a remnant of when Schmidt had lived here, and stared. Her fridge was pretty barren. She had brought over everything that was hers, but since pretty much everything had been communal, she really only had her tea and almond milk.

She sighed and closed the door. She wished Cece would get off work soon.

At that thought she realized that she should just go to the bar and get something to eat. Nick wasn't working so she wasn't worried about running into him. She got up, grabbed a jacket from her new closet, and found her purse on the kitchen counter, her keys already inside. She opened the door to her apartment slowly, checking to make sure no one was lurking outside that she didn't want to see.

After finding the hallway empty, she breathed a sigh of relief. She walked up to the elevator and pressed the button. Unfortunately, it wasn't already on her floor, so she had to wait. The doors finally opened and she stepped inside. The doors started to close when a hand shot inside.

"Hold it!" An all too familiar voice said. Jess had a flashback to a time before when Nick had stopped the elevator door in a similar fashion, except she knew that this time it wouldn't result in them getting into bed together.

"Oh, hey Jess," Nick said, clearly uncomfortable with finding himself alone in an elevator with Jess.

"Hey yourself," Jess looked everywhere except for at Nick. She couldn't get the look he gave Natalie out of her mind. "You like the new roommate?" Jess blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Huh? Oh yeah, um, she's cool."

"You sure? You looked pretty interested." She was like a snowball rolling down a mountain; she just couldn't stop.

"I mean, I guess she's pretty."

"Aha!" Jess turned to look at him, her finger pointing at him. The elevator doors opened at that time. They walked out together saying nothing.

"Jess…"

"Nick," they both said at the same time, but Nick gestured for Jess to go first. "I think you should ask her out. She's pretty and smart, besides you seem to have a thing for roommates." The last part came out a little bit more bitter than she wanted.

"What? No Jess, I'm not ready for that!"

"Oh come on Nick!" Jess's voice was getting louder, "You were looking at her like a little puppy dog begging for a treat!"

"I was not!" Nick defended himself. "How could you think I would want to date someone so quickly after…" He trailed off. They both knew it was Jess who had ultimately decided that they shouldn't be together.

"Whatever Nick. Just admit that you're lonely and you need someone to keep you warm at night. Well what do you know? You have a new piece of meat to warm your lonely nights!" Jess turned and walked out the doors, not wanting Nick to see her cry. She heard him follow after her shortly. He grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Jess what is wrong with you?" Jess could see his eyes searching her face. "I thought that this is what you wanted?"

"What I want?" Jess guffawed. She couldn't tell Nick what she wanted, not after everything they went through. "What I want is...I want you to ask Natalie out. Take her on a date."

"That's really what you want?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Yes Nick," she took a deep breath, forcing the tears back. "It will help you move on."

Nick searched her face one last time. She could see the pain in his eyes and she wanted so much to touch his face and tell him that she takes it all back.

Nick sighed. "Okay. If that's what you want, I'll ask Natalie out."

Jess nodded, not trusting herself to say anything more. She turned around and walked towards her car. Hoping there weren't any cats or even worse, Outside Dave, lingering near. Luckily no one was around. She got in her car and cried as she drove to the bar.

When she pulled into the parking lot of the bar, she parked and looked herself in the mirror. She didn't want to go in with puffy eyes, because Cece would know that something was up. Actually she would probably know something was up just from looking at her, as best friends could. She walked in and immediately sat down at the bar. Cece gave her a small sympathetic smile.

"Didn't think I'd see you here tonight. Our, uh, buddies are sitting over there with some chick," she nodded towards a booth in the corner.

"Oh," was all Jess could say. Nick wasn't there so she felt a little better. She really didn't want to see him after the fight they just had.

The door opened at that moment. _I spoke too soon, _Jess thought to herself. Cece saw the look on Jess's face and quickly gave her a shot of something strong.

Jess took the drink and gulped it down fast. "Ugh," she coughed, "What was that?"

"I don't know actually," Cece laughed, "I just grabbed the closest thing and poured."

"Well, it was terrible." Jess giggled a little, the strong drink influencing her already.

_Good,_ She thought, _Let Nick see that I'm fine without him. _She saw out of the corner of her eye that Nick had sat down next to Natalie, but was facing Jess. She saw him look at Jess for a moment before turning towards Natalie to start a conversation.

"So who's this girl moving in on your territory?" Cece asked, leaning over the bar so as to not let anyone else hear.

"New roommate for the boys." Jess said, "Can I have a Heisler?" She needed something else to drink.

Cece nodded while handing her an open bottle of their favorite brew.

"She's all like," Jess went on, mimicking her, "'Oy I'm from England and I've got a fancy accent and all the boys love me.' Oh and did I tell you she's a professor too?"

"No you didn't," Cece replied, wiping the table to make it look like she was doing something.

"Yeah, she is. Much better than a vice principal." Jess muttered before taking another swig.

"Jess, don't compare yourself. You're not being replaced. I know the guys love you."

Jess looked up into Cece's brown eyes and knew she was sincere and not just bullshitting her. "I know. You're right Cece. It's just...Ugh! Nick was looking at her with his googly eyes that he used to use for me only, so I told him he should ask her out."

"You did what?" Cece stopped wiping the counter and gave Jess an incredulous look. "You really think that was a smart idea?"

"No...I know it was stupid of me, but it's too late, he already said he would. I wouldn't be surprised if he already asked her…" she trailed off turning her head to see what was going on with the guys. Nick's arm was behind Natalie at the back of the booth, they seemed to be having an intense conversation. Natalie glanced in Jess's direction, causing Jess to turn back towards Cece a little too quickly, almost falling off of her barstool.

Jess put her head in her arms on the counter. She didn't want to look at anyone or anything, she wanted to fall asleep right then and there, but she knew she shouldn't. She would look upset and Nick might see.

She really needed to get over him.

She looked around the bar to see her options. It was really slim pickings tonight. The door opened and Jess was hopeful, but when she saw it was only Buster she turned back to her drink.

"Hey beautiful," Buster said to Cece.

"Hey!" Cece grinned. Jess felt a pang of jealousy that her friend had someone who made her happy, but she was glad for her none the less. "What can I get you two to drink?"

Jess had forgotten that today was Buster's 21st birthday, so he could legally drink at the bar. Jess was even more surprised that she had missed the second guy that came in with Buster. She turn her head to look around Buster to see the tall blonde. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his blue eyes were looking around the bar with interest.

"We'll just take two beers," Buster said.

"Is he legal?" Cece asked, gesturing to his friend.

"Yeah, yeah he is. This is James, he's my older cousin visiting from back home in Australia." Cece grabbed two beers and handed them to the two men. "James this is my girlfriend Cece that I've been telling you about, and this is her best friend, and current roommate, Jess."

"Nice to meet you, sir." Jess reached over Buster to shake James' hand.

"And you," he shook her hand back. His hand was strong and firm and Jess hoped to God that he was single because she really wanted to know what it would be like to be touched by him.

_Damn it, _Jess thought, _I am way too twirly right now._ She had consumed a lot of alcohol today and she was really starting to feel it.

Cece and Buster got into a conversation about what they were going to do after she got off. James got up and moved to sit on Jess' other side.

"So how do you like America?" Jess asked, feeling stupid because she figured he probably got asked that a lot.

"Well ya know, I just arrived today. I've really only seen the airport, Buster's apartment, and now this bar." He took a drink of his beer, "But so far I've seen some things I like."

Jess blushed. "Well," she caught her breath, not sure what to say next, "um...how long are you here for?"

"A few weeks at least. I might travel a bit around the states to take in some of the sights ya know? It's quite expensive fly here from Australia, so I want to get my money's worth."

"I believe ya. Last place I went outside of L.A. was Chicago, but I didn't see much because it was for my buddy Nick Miller's Dad's funeral. But before that I've really only seen here and Oregon, where I'm from."

"Oh well that's a shame."

"Yeah, well, I'm a teacher so I don't make a lot of money to travel. What do you do?"

"Um...well I'm an optometrist. But I normally spend my time abroad helping under privaledged children get the eye care they deserve."

"An eye doctor? That's pretty fancy."

They continued to talk for the next hour before Cece's shift got over. Jess liked James and welcomed his distraction from Nick. But Jess didn't notice the glare that Nick was shooting in her direction.


	3. Chapter 3

Jess woke up to her phone buzzing on her nightstand. Her head hurt from the amount of alcohol she had consumed during the day. She checked her phone and her heart dropped.

"_Roof_" was all the text said. She didn't have to see the name to know who it was from.

She laid back on her bed, her arm over her eyes, phone still in hand. She really didn't want to go up there, but she didn't want to leave him waiting. Nick wasn't her boyfriend anymore, so she was just going to forget about it, but then he sent another one saying "_please_." She groaned and blindly grabbed a robe from her closet.

She made her way out of the apartment and up the stairs to the roof. Nick was at the short wall at the building's edge, looking over the city lights looking alive despite the early morning hour. She hit into an empty can left by some other tenant, causing Nick to turn around. He looked her up and down, making Jess feel self conscious.

"What? Do I have something showing?" Jess asked, pulling at her hair and clothes, making sure everything was covered.

"No, it's just...nevermind it's nothing." Nick wouldn't look at her. Jess looked down at her pajamas and robes and realized that she'd grabbed her pink robe. The one that Nick had called his "catnip."

_Great job Jess._ She scolded herself. It wasn't too cold out, so she took the robe off and set it on a chair.

"So," Jess started, "What's up?" She walked up and stood next to him, placing her hands on the cool brick surface, acutely aware that Nick's hands were close by.

Nick took a deep breath. "I just wanted to talk."

"Talk?" Jess looked at him quizzically. Nick never wanted to talk, unless it was about basketball or conspiracy theories.

"Yeah, ya know, you were acting all crazy today."

"I was acting crazy? What about you and your crazy eyes for Miss British?" Jess could feel herself getting heated again, so she looked away from Nick and took a few breaths, in and out.

"Look, Jess, no. That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?"

"Ever since we broke up, all we've done is fight. Wasn't that one of the reasons we broke up? So we could be friends again?" He ran his hair through his hands.

"We fought all the time before we were together." Jess said matter of factly.

"True. But I just accounted that to the fact that we wanted to rip each others clothes off." He chuckled to himself, but Jess didn't laugh. He was right that part of why they fought so much before was because she was frustrated about the feeling she had for her best friend and roommate. "But," he continued. "This is different. It's not fun arguing with you like it was before." He finally looked over at her, "I really do miss my best friend."

She looked into his big brown eyes and could see the sincerity there. "I miss you too," was all she could choke out.

They continued to look at each other for a moment until Nick turned back to look out at the city. "So this guy you were with at the bar…"

"Oh James," Jess didn't want to talk about him right now.

"He seemed pretty friendly. And as did you," He said the last part with a hint of bitterness.

"Yeah well, you were getting pretty friendly yourself." Jess muttered allowed.

"Hey, Jess," he turned back towards her, "you _told_ me to go after her. If you don't want me to tell me and I won't."

There hands were dangerously close. Jess looked down at them. She wanted to so badly to tell him not to go after Natalie, that she loved him, and had made a huge mistake breaking up with him. But the words were caught in her throat and she couldn't say it.

"No," was all she could get out.

"No don't date her? Or no, you don't want to stop me?"

She closed her eyes. She knew that if they got back together now, things wouldn't have changed. They would still argue and have the same problems as before. It didn't matter that her heart and body were screaming at her to take him back, her mind and logic was winning out this time.

"No, Nick," she finally resolved to look at him, but didn't let herself look at his eyes. "I won't tell you to stop, but I won't tell you what to do either. Date her if you want to though, I don't want to be the decider of how you live your life." She took a step back from the wall and headed back towards the door.

"Jess…" Nick said as Jess was about to open the door.

"Yes?" Not sure what else Nick would say.

"Don't forget your robe."

Jess sighed; Taking off the robe had only made her, not Nick, forget about it. She grabbed it off the chair and headed back down to her new apartment.

As she opened the door, she was surprised to find someone standing in the kitchen. She let out a little shriek and James dropped the glass he had in his hands.

"I'm so sorry!" he said as Jess turned on the light "I was trying to get a glass of water."

"It's fine." Jess moved to find the brook to get the glass cleaned up quickly. James must have been sleeping on the couch, which Jess didn't notice when she left the apartment. She found the broom between the stove and the fridge and went to sweep it up, but James grabbed the broom from her.

"It's my mess so I'll clean it up. I'll also buy you some new glasses." He said as he sweeped up the glass.

"You don't have to do that," Jess tried to object, but he put his hand up.

"No, I want to."

"Okay," Jess was too tired from arguing with Nick that she didn't put up a fight.

James swept the glass into a pan and dumped it into the garbage. "Now, what was a pretty girl like you doing outside by yourself at a time like this, and in your pajamas no less." He teased.

Jess couldn't help but giggle at the way he said "pajamas." She sat on one of the barstools at the counter. "One of my old roommates needed to talk to me."

"In the middle of the night? I hope you didn't have to go far." He came and sat by her on the other barstool.

"No. I used to live across the hall. I just went up to the roof to talk to him."

"Oh it's a him? Gay roommates or something? Can't be an old boyfriend or you would have moved farther." He laughed a little at himself.

Jess looked down at the counter sadly. "Actually," she said softly, "it _is_ an ex. But," she quickly added, "it's all over. We're just friends." She didn't want to talk about it with him, and hoped he didn't press it further.

"I just got out of a relationship too."

_I guess that's sort of a different subject._ Jess thought.

"Yeah," he continued. "I was gone a lot for work, and he couldn't handle that."

"He?" Jess blurted out before she could stop herself.

James nodded and laughed a little to himself. "I'm bisexual. I don't normally bring it up because I don't think someone should be judged on who they choose to love."

It was Jess's turn to nod. James went on, "He may beg to differ but I was pretty broken up. So when I got the chance to come to the states, I jumped at the offer."

"Well I'm glad you came," Jess said, placing her hand on his. He wrapped his hand around hers and they sat there in silence for a few minutes. Jess was glad for this moment of intimacy, with no expectations of anything except comfort.

James let go of Jess's hand and stood up. "I think my cousin expects something to happen between us. You're a very, _very _beautiful girl, but I'm just not ready to jump into anything so quickly."

"And you sir are a very handsome young man," Jess replied, causing James to smile. "But I agree. I wouldn't want you to become my next rebound." She put her hand out to shake his, "Friends?"

"Friends," he smiled, shook her hand, and pulled her into a hug.

_This is what I need, _Jess thought to herself as she tucked herself into bed, having let James get back to sleep on the couch. _I need a friend like James to help me get over Nick. _

She slept better than she had in a long while.


	4. Chapter 4

The next week was a blur to Jess. She and Cece spent a lot of time with Buster and James, watching movies, going to the bar, and even going to tourist attractions that James wanted to see. Jess tried to make sure that when they went to the bar, Nick wasn't going to be there, but he wasn't completely unavoidable. Whenever they ran into them, James would give her a knowing look and try to distract her. It hardly worked, but she would put on a face and act like everything was fine.

Jess loved having a close guy friend again. She had missed her friendship with Nick so much that it broke them apart. They had promised they would remain friends but now it felt like they were mere acquaintances. Her friendship with James helped fill that void a little, but there were times at night when she had a funny thought that she wanted to share with Nick, stopping herself before grabbing her phone.

Saturday night Jess found herself alone watching T.V. James and Buster had gone to Universal for a guys day out, and Cece was at work. She had a lot of energy and couldn't stand just sitting on the couch any longer. She left the T.V. on and went to the kitchen to make some chocolate chip cookies.

As she was grabbing the ingredients, she realized she was one stick of butter short. She knew that schmidt always kept the kitchen stocked so she walked over to her old apartment to snag some. She was grateful that Schmidt had let her keep her key so that she could just sneak in and grab what she needed. She opened the door slowly, giving a courtesy knock incase any shenanigans were going on, but no one was there. She sighed in relief as she was worried she might run into Nick or even the new roommate Natalie. She went to the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge, not able to locate the butter where it normally would be.

She finally located the butter on the bottom shelf at the back of the fridge when she heard someone opening the door. Jess quickly shut the door and hid behind the counter, hugging the butter to her chest. She didn't know why she felt the need to hide, as she used to live in the apartment, but she hid nonetheless.

"I had a lovely time tonight," a british female voice that Jess recognized as Natalie spoke in a flirty tone.

"Yeah, I did too. I think this was exactly what I needed," Jess knew that voice all too well. It was Nick's. She realized that they must have gone on a date tonight.

"I'm glad I could be of help. I could see how sad you have been lately, what with Jess and that Aussie guy…"

Nick cut her off, "I don't want to think about Jess right now." Jess could tell that he was drunk. He had that little slur and slight inflection he would get when he had a little too much to drink.

"Then think of me instead."

Jess couldn't hear them talking anymore. She wondered if they had gone to bed. That thought made her stomach turn to knots. She slowly crawled around the counter, wondering if she could make a break for the door. Instead she froze at the sight of Natalie's lips on Nick's neck, Nick's eyes closed from the pleasure he was obviously feeling.

Nick moaned causing Jess to stand up quickly, hoping to make a run for the door, but instead hit her head on the counter. "Fuck!" She screamed, her head throbbing.

Both Nick and Natalie parted, their eyes wide in surprise. Jess couldn't help but look at the obvious bulge that Nick had, making her even more upset.

"What are you doing here Jess?" Nick exclaimed.

Jess didn't respond for what seemed an eternity. She couldn't remember why she was there, all she could think about was Natalie's mouth all over Nick's neck. She finally remembered the stick of butter that was still clutched to her chest.

"Butter," was all she could get out.

"We can see that," Natalie said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Jess had thought she was nice when she first met her, but now her shoulder seemed to have grown cold towards Jess.

"For cookies. I didn't have enough and I knew Schmidt had some."

"Who let you in?" Natalie spoke up again, obviously not letting Nick speak.

"I have a key. Schmidt let me keep mine." Jess was bothered by how dominate Natalie was seeming. It reminded her too much of Caroline.

Natalie turned to Nick, "That really makes me uncomfortable. I don't think your ex should have a key. Who knows what crazy thing she could come in here and do."

"Give me the key, Jess," Nick said softly. Jess gaped at him. She knew she could get another key from Schmidt or any of the other loft mates, but the fact that it was Nick asking and he didn't even bother to stick up for her made her stomach sick.

She tried to look Nick in the eyes, to beg him to stand up for her, but he only looked down. Jess grabbed the key out of her pocket and slowly walked towards Nick. As Jess was about to hand it to him, Natalie snatched it out of her hands instead.

"I think it's time for you to go," Natalie spit out.

Jess walked out of the apartment. Before she closed the door, she heard Nick say, "You didn't have to be so mean." But Jess didn't wait long enough to hear what was said next. She couldn't breath and needed to get home. She ran to the apartment, quickly opening the door, and went to her bedroom. She closed her door and sat down while leaning against it. She sat there for a few moments, taking in what just happened. Jess didn't realize it would hurt this much for Nick to be with someone else in the way they had been. She felt as if she was losing him all over again. Jess finally took a deep breath which was followed by a loud sob. Her tears flowed freely.

She didn't know how long she was sitting there crying. She was in a daze until she heard a knock on her door.

"Jess?" It was James. Jess didn't want him to see her like this, but couldn't pretend she wasn't there. Her crying had been pretty loud. "Can I come in?" He waited a moment, but after she didn't respond he opened the door anyways. Jess was still in front of the door, but he was able to slide it open enough to get inside, the door slamming behind him.

He kneeled next to her, "Hey Jess."

"Hi," she croaked out, her voice tired.

"I'm relieved to find that it was you crying and not a cow having a baby in here."

Jess smiled a little but gave him a little slap on the arm, "You called me a cow!" Jess laughed but then started to cry again.

"Hey," James took her by her hands, looking quizzically at the stick of butter that was _still_ in her hands. "I didn't mean that. I just wanted to make you laugh."

Jess sniffed, "Well you did."

"That's true. So tell me why you're holding onto this butter like your life depends on it."

"I was going to make cookies."

"Last time I made cookies it made me cry too. I burnt them."

Jess laughed again. She was actually glad that James had come in. He was turning out to be a great friend.

"Let me help you to your bed, this floor isn't very comfortable. Then I'll take your butter back to the kitchen for safe keeping."

Jess nodded and leaned into James as he helped her to the bed. He put the stick of butter on her nightstand. As he was tucking her in Jess quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You missed," He joked.

"What?" Jess said a little confused by his meaning.

"I said you missed," and he leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. Jess got lost in his touch. Her mind cleared and all she could think about was how strong his hand felt on the back of her head and the feel of his tongue as it entered her mouth. All too soon James stopped. He searched her eyes, but Jess didn't know what he was looking for.

"I'm sorry Jess. That was too forward of me. I shouldn't have done that." He was about to stand up but Jess grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Please stay," she hoped she didn't sound desperate, "I can't be alone right now." James gave her a confused look. "But no funny business. My head's a little fuzzy right now."

James nodded, "Of course. But I'm still going to take care of your butter." He gave her a smile, grabbed the butter off the nightstand, and left the room.

Jess took the opportunity to wipe away any makeup smears from her crying episode and ran her hands through her hair.

"Those two seem to be having quite the time, I could hear them from the kitchen," James said as he came back. He climbed into Jess's bed as if he had done it a thousand times, and not as if it was the first. He scooted close to her, bringing her head to his shoulder. "So tell me what happened."

Jess explained to him what transpired, choking back tears. James ran his hands through her hair to help console her. When she finished they sat there for a few moments in silence.

"So…" Jess started, trying to break the silence, "that's my story." She sat up and leaned against the wall. "What was up with that kiss...I mean, it was nice, but it just makes me even more confused. It's been a rollercoaster of a week."

"I'm sorry Jess. I don't really know what came over me." He sighed, "Actually, confession time."

"Okay." Jess turned towards him, and he propped himself up on his elbow, absentmindedly tracing the flowers on Jess's bedspread.

"I know I said I wasn't ready for anything, and we agreed to be just friends, but…" he paused and Jess could see his face go red. "I find myself falling for you."

It was Jess's turn to turn red. "Well, um," she tried to speak, "thank you." she finally got out.

"You are most welcome." He looked up into her eyes. "I mean it though. Maybe Buster was onto something when he introduced us. He was getting pretty annoyed at the park today when I couldn't stop talking about you."

Jess's face burned, she didn't deal with flattery very well. "I don't know what to say James. I mean, you are very attractive and a great kisser, but I am just very confused." She reached her hand out and put it on his. "I don't want to ruin what we have," she could see disappointment start on his face, "but I also would like to see where things could go with us." She quickly added.

"I'd very much like that." He grinned.

"Let's just take things slow for now okay? I think that would be the best for both our hearts."

He nodded. Jess settled back down into bed, laying her head back on his chest.

"You're lucky I happen to love cuddling," James remarked. Jess giggled. It took her a little while to fall asleep as she was acutely aware of the man in her bed, but she finally let herself relax and relish that she wasn't alone.


End file.
